Get a Job (Sha Na Na)

The first step in healing the law school pain is to snag a job.

Easier said than done, right?  Unless your mom is a judge or your dad owns a law practice, odds are that you've been singing your talents to a town of deaf lawyers.  There are too many licensed attorneys for too few positions, and, for the positions that do exist, there are scads of experienced lawyers desperate to jump in.

But you already know this.  You've read the endless job postings requiring "3-5 years experience" (and applied to a few anyway).  You've endured the resounding silence of hiring firms.

So what to do?   How to step up the hunt?

First, ask yourself three questions:

1. Think BIG:  Who are the big employers in your area?  Look for universities, tech companies, large businesses.  Bigger companies hire more bodies. 
2. Think SMALL:  What niche agencies need any legal work in your area?  Look for county courts, private companies in your areas of focus, specific government   agencies.  Small, obscure shops are overlooked by many job applicants, since smaller enterprises may not pay to list job postings on major sites.
3. Ask "where?":  Are you willing to move?  If so, how far?   Check both far and near.  And consider going rural (because a lot of people won't).

Next, step beyond the actions of a standard, unemployed lawyer:

• Apply for everything half-feasible.  Notice that I did not say "feasible."  Half-feasible.  If a job is mostly up your alley but requires fluency in Dari, apply anyway.  Perhaps no one reading the posting speaks Dari.  (That's the way I once got a job.)  You never know.
• Run kamikaze-style towards the applications others fear. You know that application that's 12 pages long and requires three highly job-specific essays?  As excruciatingly boring it is to you, it's that excruciatingly boring to everyone else.  Most people won't bother, and thus the applicant pool will be smaller.  Even if you do it lamely, do it.  (Note: And save those essays in a word doc.  You might be able to pillage them another day.)  
• Ditto for company job sites that suck the life out of you.  18,000 form fields to be completed before you can register?  Do it.  Turn on some reality tv , and slog through the hour-long registration process.  Once you're in the system, future applications will be a snap, and the applicant pool will be smaller since many won't bother.  Plus, you'll be caught up on back episodes of Bridezilla and Celebrity Rehab.
• Troll for backwater sites.  Everyone's got search agents watching craigslist, monster, usajobs, etc, so you know anything posted there will get hundreds of applicants within a week.  Get creative.  Search out every county courthouse within driving distance, and then visit every single one of their individual career pages.  Make a list of every company that might be hiring within driving distance, and visit every single one of their individual sites.  You'd be surprised at how many jobs are hidden in the backwaters of the internet, just ready to be discovered by a dedicated few.
• Be open.  Unless you're omniscient (in which case you'd have known not to go to law school in the first place), you have no idea what a particular job will actually be like.  The position that sounds tailor-made for your interests?  Could be managed by a bunch of abusive jerks.  That job that sounds like nonsense?  Could be a fun gig that leads you straight to your calling.  So, apply for anything reasonable that'd pay your rent, go to any interviews offered, and then make up your mind.  Worst, you've wasted a couple hours.  More likely, you'll get a little interview experience, learn a little more about yourself, and eventually get a job.

Hard times come, and hard times also go.  Step outside the well-trodden channels, open your mind to new possibilities, and persevere.  You'll get that job.